On Being a “Professional” Creative
Hi :) This is a bit of a first for me. I’ve never really written anything and put it out into the world before. I wanted to share some of my recent thoughts and feelings.
It’s been exactly one year since I graduated from Emily Carr University. My overall art school experience was amazing and if I could do it all over again, I would. Around this time last year, everyone was posting their grad pics, but it never felt quite right to post mine. Maybe subconsciously I believed that If I posted my pictures, then it would make my art school experience coming to an end a reality and I wasn’t ready for that. So instead, I’ll post them here, where it exists in my small corner of the internet on my terms:
A year later, I’m now what people would classify as a professional creative, simply because I have a full-time job working in a creative industry. But every time the question comes up: “What do you do for work?”, I always find myself putting air quotes around “professional” creative because I don’t feel like I can identify with that word. For me, I don’t feel like I have the experience or the knowledge (yet) to be held to such a high regard of being a well-versed creative. I wonder what qualifies someone as a professional in their field: is it their “years of experience” or having the right type of “work etiquette”? Is it the way you dress, or the amount of connections you have?
Beyond that, I’m growing to learn that the idea of “professionalism” is so deeply embedded with ableism, sexism, and racism, so that alone may be why I don’t feel like a “professional” in the workforce. I understand that’s a huge political statement to make, but I’ve heard too many stories of people being discriminated against or seen as “unprofessional” because English isn’t their first language, or they don’t understand the nuances of Western culture, or they’ve been deemed too emotional because of their gender to lead confidently, or their ways of being (such as hair, food scents, disabilities, etc.) cause too much of an inconvenience in the workplace. It’s frustrating to navigate these nuances and be aware of their influence.
Anyways, back to my story, a lot of change has happened since graduating and it’s been a bit overwhelming. Change in general is a difficult experience for me. The transition out of my role as a student and into a “professional” creative was very difficult (it still is in some ways). I grieve the loss of my art school community, my peers and professors, the support of lab techs and the wellness centre faculty, and the low stakes of doing school projects. My schedule changed dramatically and commuting took a large toll on my physical and mental wellness – taking transit after a full day of work can be very overstimulating.
“A lot of change has happened since graduating and it’s been a bit overwhelming.”
When you’re in school, the two primary social interactions you have to manage are with your peers and professors. In my experience, the power dynamics between a teacher and student poses less intimidation in a post-secondary setting because everyone is an adult with the intention of participating in a mutual exchange of learning. When you work in an office, you now have to manage a whole new set of social interactions that were never taught to you in school (or at least not in my experience). Daily meetings, emailing your boss or supervisor, presentations with clients, interacting with more experienced colleagues, learning to fit into a work culture, expressing my neurodivergent, POC, female voice in a new environment – these are all things that are unfamiliar and difficult for me.
The scariest part of being out of school is that I’m slowly realizing my passions and purpose don’t fit into a singular, standard role; the implications of this is especially terrifying as a child of immigrants. Based on my observations over the years, my parents have a vastly different relationship to their work. To them, work is a means of survival and holding down a job provides security that ensures the livelihood of their families. There’s a sense of separation from the work that they do and who they are. Nowadays, my generation (between Gen-Z and Millennials) desires to have careers and professions that align with their values wholly. Our careers are an extension of who we are and what we believe in. Changing these cultural norms within one generation is really scary.
I am by no means disregarding the knowledge and great experiences I’ve gained through my company and the work that I accomplished this past year. Change and transitions are a natural part of life and adulting; it’s just hard and scary sometimes. Writing is a way of processing for me and I invite you to reach out to me on social media or email if you want to share any questions, curiosities, or reflections with me :)
Chat soon, okay? :)
